It seems that the idea of meeting the right people, fall in love, get married, have kids, and build up a family is the regular and common concept that is applicable in our society today. Everyone wishes that their marriage can be successful and they don’t have to face infidelity issue or divorce. However, our society today is filled with temptation. Not only in the form of money or power, but also in the form of other attractive gender and sex. The concept of monogamy has been introduced and reinforced by the founding fathers to make sure that marriage will work and will last until they both grow old and die. However, with technology and modernity, having a such monogamous relationship is difficult for some people, so the concept of open marriage is introduced.
The Concept of Open Marriage
An open marriage is basically a type of relationship where the couples can have sex outside and they are still bound within the marriage status and they are still much in love with one another. For monogamous couples, this concept is certainly weird and inappropriate, but for couples who have this kind of relationship, their actions can actually strengthen their love toward each other. For most people, this concept is a bit confusing and also odd, because how can they are still in love with their spouses when they are able to sleep with other people?
Well, that depends on the people and individuals – or so they say. Some people consider loyalty as being stuck with the same person for years to come. When another person is able to occupy their mind, it means that they are not in love with their spouses. However, for couples with open marriage, they consider that the idea of loving many people at the same time is possible. It is not related to loyalty or any kind of things like that. For them, love is love; it is the capability for them to accept other people just the way they are – good or bad. They don’t limit themselves to loving one person only. In fact, people who have gone through open marriage relationship often feel that they are more in love with their spouses after they have other relationships outside.
Confusing Idea and Belief
For these couples, having a physical and sexual attraction toward other people – aside their spouses – are normal. After all, they are only humans. If they don’t explore the possibility of knowing those other people, then they don’t know what they are missing. If they keep their curiosity, they don’t know the good things that they may miss. So they act out on their desires. Most couples say that they are in love more with their spouses after having the other relationships because they get to compare the good and bad sides of their spouses with their other relationships. And most of them say that they are grateful that they have chosen the right individual, who is proven to be the best among others. The idea may be ridiculous or crazy, but some people do have their own preference when it comes to their love life and romance.
Can Such Open Marriage Work?
There are lots of questions whether such marriage and relationship work. Again, that depends on the individuals involved. When both of the couples agree to the implementation and the concept of love – like the one explained above – their marriage can work and even last forever. However, if only one person is eager and agree with the concept, while the other one is having a difficult time facing all the problems, their relationship may be in danger. In order for the relationship to work, both of them really need to understand and agree with the overall concept. When one fails to see the core of the concept, their marriage can be in a deep trouble.
Another issue that may arise is trust and respect. Along the way, most of the couples find themselves drifting even apart from their spouses. And the basic issue that causes the problem is mostly because of respect and trust. They don’t trust their spouses anymore; thinking that their spouses hide their own secrets. From the lack of trust, come the lack of respect – which jeopardizes the whole marriage.
Dealing with open marriage isn’t easy. Not only the concept is unique and unconventional, the arrangement for the relationship to success is also tricky. However, when the couples are committed to do the best and they can really open up to all kinds of possibilities, such open marriage relationship can work – and even last for longer period of time.